Sorry I’ve been gone so long

It really sucks when people let you, friends, coworkers, etc. But it sucks even more when it’s a significant other.

I don’t know about you, but I think one of the best parts about being in a relationship is having that person there for you. They celebrate triumphs, they commiserate failures, and they squelch fears. They take our hand and tell us to relax. They sit by when you need to just unload about the stressful day you have. They laugh when you tell a funny story or something humorous that happened to you. They’re just…there to live life with you.

My on-again, off-again ex and I had been on-again here lately. We were talking daily, he visited me, among other things. We had talked about getting back together, but he had some personal issues to deal with before. I was fine with that. I understand and can respect waiting until you give your all in the relationship.

Until a few days ago.

I despise requalifying with my firearm for work. I just get so nervous and work myself up for no reason. It’s fair to say I dread it.

I had discussed this with him and he had said some kind words to me. However, the day of, I heard nothing from him. No words of encouragement. No words asking how it went. And a full 36 hours later, still nothing.

I was upset, but then it hit me. I am not his girlfriend. He has gone out of his way to make sure that I’m not. He doesn’t have to listen to my fears or be there for me or help my anxiety. He doesn’t owe me jack shit.

And that made my heart break again…just a tiny bit.

(By the way….I rocked the fuck out of it).