Random Saturday night thought

You should have a really good sense of humor and not take yourself too seriously in order to be able to blog.

There should totally be a test when you sign up. It’ll be a personality test that sets you in one of three categories; Ke$ha, Zooey Deschanel, or Hilary Clinton.

Or something.

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Beach Reads

If you’re like me, you collect books like shoes or jewelry. I love owning books. It drives my mom crazy, considering I have a library card and a Kindle (that she gifted me). I like to take advantage of those two things as well, but there’s nothing like holding a book in your hands that you own. I also like to obsessively reread my favorite books, so owning them comes in handy.

I took multiple books with me for this vacation, but here are the top 3 right now. I recommend you check them out.

 

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– Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson. Also known as “The Bloggess” in the online world, this book is completely hysterical. I laughed out loud in public, in private, and in front of my family. I felt like I was parting with a friend when the book ended. The book is hilarious, very real, and makes you realize that if you can laugh at the awful-good-funny-stupid-ridiculous things life throws at you, then you’re going to be okay. 

– Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi with Curt Gentry. This book chronicles the Manson murders, the Family, the trial, and everything in between/after. Mr. Bugliosi was the prosecutor responsible for handling the case for the DA’s office in California in the 1970’s. I’ve been trying to read this book for 2 years, because it’s extremely long and, at times, very overwhelming. It completely draws you in and makes you wonder what really drove those people to murder innocent people in their own homes. It truly marked the end of the 60’s and in a sense, the end of the innocence. I finally got the book as a gift back in February for my birthday, and I’ve been hooked ever since. It’s bone chilling and well written. If you like true crime, this book is the end all be all.

-The Gods of Guilt by Michael Connelly. If you’ve seen “The Lincoln Lawyer” or read the book, you know how wonderful Michael McConnelly is. I watched the movie and then read the book (I know. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.), and have adored this author ever since. I just started this book today, but it is about Mickey taking on a murder that involved the prostitute he’s been trying to help for years. Knowing Michael Connelly, I’ll be addicted and unable to put it down by tomorrow afternoon.

 

What are you guys reading this summer? Whether it be on a beach, on a lake, on your porch, or on your 30 minute lunch break, a book can sometimes be just the vacation you need. 

24 things I’ve learned in 24 years

Surprisingly, I am not currently tired, even after standing in the rain for 2 loooong hours today. But that’s another story.

I started listening to Mayday Parade (oh yeah. I went there. I still love them. My inner emo kid is alive and well.) and perusing the internet, because I hate laying in bed just willing yourself to go the hell to sleep. I started reading random posts online and one was about life lessons. Well, hey, I’m living life. I can’t sleep. I like force feeding people my thoughts. I can write a post about that. Easy.

Let me just say ahead of time, do as I say, not as I do. Many of these “lessons” are a work in progress. I’m learning here, too.

 

1. Get rid of all the toxic bullshit in your life. If it no longer serves you, makes you happy, or makes you a better person, let it go. You will have much more room for the good in your life. 

2. Don’t let heartbreak make you cold. Getting hurt is awful. But allowing it to shut you away from love is worse. Build a fence around your heart, not a fortress.

3. Second chances are earned, not given. Give them to people sparingly. 

4. Go with your gut. I have to listen to mine on a daily basis in my career field. I’ve learned to listen to it. If I get a bad feeling about someone or a situation in my personal life, I don’t go through with it. Your instincts are usually spot on.

5. You don’t have to have a good reason, you can just say no. People who love you will not press you for follow up.

6. Make a budget and stick to it. Do you really need that totally ridiculous thing that you’ll forget about 2 days from now? If you budget your money, you can afford something kickass and timeless down the line.

7. Spend time alone with yourself. Get to know who you are. Me time is chicken soup for the soul. I do not trust anyone who tells me they are constantly “bored” when they’re alone. Learn to like yourself.

8. Be kind to yourself. You’ll encounter negativity regularly from the outside world. Be easy on yourself.

9. Exercise is the best form of therapy. I’ve learned to cope with anxiety, anger, and sadness that way. Cheapest form of self-help there is.

10. Don’t date your coworkers. I’ve made this mistake in my professional, grown up life. Luckily, he works 2 hours away. Even luckier, I can laugh about it, because I get teased on a daily basis about it. Which leads me to…

11. Learn to laugh at yourself. It’s the best way to get through a mistake. Or, ya know, dating someone who can easily be made fun of. 

12. When someone tells you something about themselves, believe them. You can’t change that. I once had someone tell me that whenever they get in trouble, they find themselves lying to get out of it. Uh, hello. Red, giant warning flag!

13. Speak up for what you want. Women of the world, this doesn’t make you a bitch! If you want a raise, respect, some help with the damn dishes, TELL THE APPROPRIATE PERSON! People can’t read minds. You have to tell em! 

14. They way people treat you has everything to do with them. You can demand respect all day long, but some people just aren’t going to step up and be good humans. This is their character flaw, not yours. Handle it with grace, and move on.

15. Classics in your closet are a damn good idea. Nude heels, black pumps, an LBD, something that makes you feel wildly sexy. Whatever that is, have it around when you need it. 

16. Find something you’re passionate about. It doesn’t matter what that may be. People are their most beautiful when talking about something their passionate about. Find your niche. 

17. Floss your teeth. Trust me. I could have saved my mouth a lot of pain if I would’ve started when I was told to.

18. Be able to cook at least one delicious meal. I can hardly follow a recipe, but I have a few tried and true winners. It’s nice to have a plan in case I need it.

19. Living at home with your parents is nothing to be ashamed of. Uh hello? This is my life right now. I’m saving a ton of money. And I’m so not sorry about it.

20. Change your mind, then change it again. Then go back to your first decision. You’re young. Don’t pressure yourself to make the perfect decision the first time, every time.

21. Stick with one type of beverage when you go out drinkin’. Yeah. I’m still learning this. My hangovers are a good reminder to stick to it. 

22. Social media is dangerous. Be careful what you post. Bitching about work, pictures of you doing body shots, bullying…just say no. Corporate HBIC you will thank 20-something you later.

23. You are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t hinge it on a boy, a friend, a job, today’s weather. Those things change. Finding happiness within yourself (I know, totally touchy-feely) will allow you to maintain it through the highs and lows.

24. It’s okay to be a little bit of a hot mess. You’re learning. You’re not perfect. Yes, you had 4 margaritas on a Thursday, and your head hurts, and you told your ex you miss him. But fuck it. If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, you’re doing pretty damn good.   

Happy Mother’s Day, but actually

Hope y’all had a wonderful Sunday with your mamas. Mom wanted us to spread mulch and do yard work as her gift, so that’s what we did. I’m embarrassed to say my back is tight and super sore from it.

As a follow up to my previous post, my mother read it today and said “Do you want me to call the orphanage now so you can start setting up the adoption process?”

God love that woman. Now everyone knows where I get it from.

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(Mom and I, circa Summer of 1990. I’m
chubs and she’s got sweet leftover 80s hair.)

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Mother’s Day

I have an penchant for women who are funny and awesome and beautiful and strong. I love them even more if they are in the same field as me. Cause it’s a man’s world, babe, and we gotta stick together. 

Anyway.

My mother fits the bill to a T. She is undoubtedly the reason I have started this career in law enforcement. She’s the reason I love the criminal justice system, even with all of its faults. She is the reason for the woman I am today. 

Let me start off by saying I am not one of the women of the world who has always envisioned her wedding. Although I now have a Pinterest board full of these ideas (come on, there’s some cute shit on there. You can follow me at http://www.pinterest.com/erin15tay/), I have always been way more into my career than deciding what I want my wedding colors to be. If you have always been one of those people, power to ya! You will have your shit together when you get married. I will be picking place holders and drinking heavily. 

However, I am now in that awkward stage where I have friends and acquaintances (mostly the latter) who are, and I’m not kidding, SPRINTING down the aisle. I may have my shit together in (most) other areas, but not in the marriage area. The thought of devoting my life to someone other than my dog or family right now scares the shit out of me. I bought a romper the other day and kept the tags on it because I’m not sure I’m ready to commit, for goodness sake. My 20 year old brother (who is in a 4 year long, awesome relationship with a girl I like a lot) is probably going to get married before me. And that’s okay. But sometimes, I get a little panicky. Am I behind? Am I going to be a spinster with 2 labradors? Will I actually have to adopt that Asian baby I talk about all the time?! 

So Tuesday night, I curled up with my mom and had the following exchange:

“Mom, do you think I’m ever going to get married?”

**Heavy sigh**

“Come on, I’m serious! It seems like so many people are getting married. It can make a girl a little panicky.”

“Honey, of course I think you’ll get married. Multiple times.”

 

Happy pre-Mother’s Day Mom. I love you, too.

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Change is coming

So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (and by that, I mean staying in on weekends, drinking wine, and stalking some of my favorite bloggers), and I think that I’ve been lying to you guys a little bit with this blog. So, first, I apologize for lying. I hate liars. I wish their pants actually caught on fire so you’d know. I also hate liars because my job requires me to get lied to for 40 hours a week (with some occasional hilarity), so in my personal life, I prefer honesty and fun.

Anyway, I’ve decided that this blog needs to be less about sunshine and rainbows and more about what my day to day life is actually about. I’m not going to abandon my craft posts (I have 4 in my back pocket, don’t you fret), my coupon posts, or my make up posts, because I am still a typical female in that sense. But I think it’s time to get a little more real about where I’m at in life so that I can cringe about it down the line. I’m 24 years old, weird as shit, and have a lot of feelings (like that girl in Mean Girls, but less romantic and more cynical). I have a penchant for the “f word,” which drives my mother crazy and means I will never marry a classy, upper class (aka rich), gentleman. I am drawn to people who have issues and also enjoy a good sentence (aka curse word) enhancer. I don’t know if I ever want to get married, which is a big anomaly where I live, but I do want children (my best friends know that I plan to adopt an Asian baby and name her Sunny if I actually don’t get married). I am offensive and often shocked by what comes out of my mouth, just like the people I speak to. Mayonnaise, scrapple/sausage, sandpaper, and clowns freak me the hell out. My anxiety is chronic (I will not fly again until they tell me what happened to that Malaysian plane), but also ridiculous (just ask my Mom. She’s been on the receiving end of my weird freak outs). I read Post Secret every Sunday even though it makes me cry. I have high fashion taste on a McDonalds budget (now I’m hungry). I’m trying to figure myself out just like the rest of the world. 

So, here’s my apology, you wonderful (but few) people who read this blog. I will no longer act like I have my shit together. Because I don’t. And I hope that we can somehow bond over that truth.